Comrades, I bring you news of the political world of things in regards to Miss Hillary Clinton being ill. Her office staff was kinda enough to let us know that she is recovering from the Japanese stomach virus called pokerus. One can catch this virus simply by eating oriental foods [...]

Nefertiti the space spider died in D.C. today.  The red-backed mutant spider was born upon the International Space Station, a product of NASA’s mutant animal program.  Unlike spiders on Earth, Nefertiti could jump 6 feet from standing, spin 6 feet of web per minute and was trained to follow simple [...]

The 2012 – 2013 football season has officially become the worst for the Kansas City Chiefs. Marred by a season of losses, not being able to score and being the general whipping boy of the NFL is no longer the worst of the Chiefs’ worry. New reports indicate that a [...]

  Several months ago, some colleagues threw a party that was all but too common:  mediocre drinks, casual chat and exchanged phone numbers.  But the D.J. from the party promised he was getting ready to play something ‘that we had to hear, because it’s the new thing’.  I was skeptical, [...]

First and foremost, I want to thank all of you who turned out and voted for team Romney/Ryan.  It was a tough stretch and we gave the White House a good run, but unfortunately we have learned that gaming the White Establishment vote is no longer a sure win technique to win the [...]

The brilliant engineers of YouTube have brought mankind one step closer to creating a universal translator.   On every rap video on Youtube, if you are signed into your accound and logging in from a nice suburban home or perhaps a tier one university, you will be given an option to ‘Turn [...]

Our band takes a look at how life will be if you vote for Mitt Romney today. America faces a crucial crux point in history.  We can choose to vote a socialist named Barack Obama into office, who will assure all people are treated equal, everyone (even the poors) are [...]

Only a day before the 2012 elections, our crack investigative team at Christwire has come upon the most devastating fact against Obama. The onus of responsibility is great here, because the nation needs to know that Obama is supporting a group of men who call themselves the bronysexuals, a group [...]

Hempstead, New York (ChristWire) – The world is helter skelter after the 2nd presidential debate tonight in Hempstead, New York.  The typically smooth and calculated Mitt Romney was off his game, stabbing President George W. Bush, Jr., in the back and being out-foxed by Obama several times. It was clear that [...]

With those beautiful smiles and perfectly coifed hair, we should have known the men of Full House were promoting a secret brand of lesbianism. On the surface, Full House was a show about a clean cut family of loveable men who would do anything to properly raise three beautiful American [...]

Just when you thought the Knife Party fad started by Ecstasy Daily Carnalval was over, it’s back this Halloween to claim more young teenagers’ lives. But this time the wild stabbing fest will be held for an even more sinister reason, not just to entertain a bunch of sick, perverted [...]

The homogay agenda knows no bounds in their unrepentant appetite for corrupting the innocent.  At every turn, they are flailing about and trying to find new ways to sneak into the firm backsides of your husbands and your sons.  And don’t let your guard down, because they like the backsides [...]

Five family-friendly Eletronic Dance Music diddies that your kiddies will love.

In a shocking change of stance, Paul Ryan came out with vehement support of abortion in cases where ‘orange-tinted, talentless Oompa-Loompas spawn seed and destroy hope for the future of humanity.”  By no coincidence Snooki gave birth only hours before. Just a week after offending true Republcans and giving snarky Democrat [...]

Paris Jackson, the daughter of famed and controversial ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson, is growing up very fast. As she grows up, her Aunt Janet Jackson has made hints that she should not pursue the spotlight or career in acting, but her natural family affinity for entertaining America is becoming more apparent.  And, she just