AMERICA’S most Christian, most heterosexual footballer, Tim “Teabag” Tebow, has stiffened himself for a new thrust in his war on homosexuality. Tebow had recently been accused of going soft on gays after he made a limp withdrawal from speaking at the megachurch of pastor Robert Jeffress, a [...]

Unable to cope with his valiant brother Eli’s booming success, Peyton took it upon himself to re-claim the spotlight, the only way he knew how — by eroding the strong Christian foundation established by St. Tebow in order to play football with a legion of closet-homo, steroid using thugs (Shawne Merriman is still on Buffalo however.) much like he did in Indiana, when he threw the ball to convicted murderer and tiger-fighting advocate, Marvin Harrison. When Harrison retired, Manning took to the streets of Gary, Indiana and using a “forty ounce” malt beverage and several pounds of “Og Kush” (OG Kush is Arabic for “Destroyer of Health”) lured struggling rapper and known street thug Reggie Wayne to the Colts to be his new receiver.