The British are trying to deny the loss, but yesterday, AMERICA defeated England by the score of 1-1 in World Cup Soccer! Even in a game we do not care about, we are the greatest on Earth! Here’s the proof for those who missed the game!

England goalkeeper helplessly watches as a divine kick soars into the goal, giving America the World Cup Victory. My friends, only hours ago I told everyone that America is the greatest at whatever we choose to do. Today, we prayed to also become the greatest at soccer, just so we [...]

For years now, America has been the undisputed champion in most sports. Be it baseball, football or basketball, or even one of the lesser sports, America holds the dominant hand. There is one ‘sport’, however, that enjoys prime status worldwide and we have not yet dominated. It is called soccer [...]