Was Laura Boebert Caught Giving a Handy Dandy to Boyfriend?

Spread the Holy Word

New allegations have been lobbied against the bountiful brunette of the Rockies, Laura Boebert, after she was escorted from a showing of Beetlejuice.

Initial reports claimed Boebert only did something mischievous, blowing a little vape smoke into a pregnant woman’s nose and down to her belly baby. Since we all know Boebert is a woman of prayer, the reaction seemed excessive, mean and targeted. But now new footage makes it seem the daughter of Eve did commit a sin and it leaves us all in shock.

EVIDENCE: Exhibit A (Warning: This Video contains footage of a woman heaving her chest presents towards a man and then attempting the devil’s handgrip upon the holy scepter of life. Please refrain and shield the sensitive eyes of women from this sin and temptation. – Edit by Rev. Bynum)

The evidence above is thick and not doctored. Now where it all gets disappointing is that instead of immediately apologizing and then going to see her local priest or pastor to confess, we see Boebert tried to pull a denying Thomas and claim she didn’t know or remember what happened or putting anything in her mouth.

Screenshot 2023 09 17 183803

Verdict: Suspiciously Guilty

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