Moral Music Review – Santa Baby by Earth Kitt

Spread the Holy Word

Today’s foray into musical stylings that contain possible sins to warn about is the Christmas time ‘classic’ named Santa Baby. The song was composed in 1953 by Tony Springer. It was most famously performed by Earth Kitt.

Santa Baby by Earth Kitt

Sin Rating: S for Sultry

Santa baby, just slip a Sable under the tree for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

In the opening verse above, Earth Kitt and by proxy the American Housewife makes no time putting her moves on Santa Baby.  Right off the bat she is calling a strange man 'baby' and trying to use her legs and kitty cat voice to lure a new sugar daddy.  'Hurry down my chimney tonight' she purrs out, intending to make Santa eager to place his sin pole in a place not consecrated for him.  All he has to do is buy her a used Mercury Sable.  The song continues:
Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you, dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Again, she starts calling your local mall Santa baby and whispering her desires into his ear.  For just the promise of a 1954 Chevy Convertible, she will wait up all night until the husband and kids are asleep, then sneak out to let Santa 'hurry down her chimney'.
Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fella's that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you check off my Christmas list

At least in this verse, the woman is confessing.  All the sinful thoughts of infidelity that circles the female mind is being confessed here.  Look how she admits on 'missing out on all the fun' and 'all the fellas I haven't kissed'.  She thinks it would be fun to just run all over town, kissing men and letting them do chimney slides down her eating and secret parts, but she is promising this mall Santa that she will forgo all these desires if only he guarantees to get what's on her Christmas list.
Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Well color us all surprised.  Now she is going into the Kardashian levels of gold digging that Kanye West warns us about.  She will never call herself a gold digger, but you can be guaranteed she ain't messin' with no broke figures.
Santa honey, one little thing I really need
The deed to a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with the duplex and checks
Sign your 'x' on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Now she is really throwing the woo on thick and sinfully.  She is calling 'Santa' honey and cutie, promising him all the carnality he wants, if only he buys her a platinum ring and signs some checks over from his account to her name.
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring, I don't mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

These lyrics are the theme song of every Jezebel Babylon warned of in the Book of Revelations.  She is inviting this 'Santa' to trim and then vajazzle her fertile garden with diamonds from Tiffany's.  She really believes he will not say no and do this.  And if he does, she is saying she will leave her husband but only if her also presents her a diamond ring from Tiffany.  And if all that is completed, he can again freely slide down her sooty chimney.
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight
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