Two weeks ago, famed R&B singer Doja Cat released a very naughty video that is every pastor’s worst dream. If features a shocking mix of Zach Snyder dark cinematography, stop-motion footage of demonry and even exposed bosoms. The song itself is mesmerizing and matches the chord progressions missionaries from Spain complained sirens would sing unto their ears during the Inquisition.
Before analyzing the song, it is important to note the the artist Doja Cat has a suspiciously sinful name of the stage. In Venice Beach hippie circles, the word doja is actually slang for ‘marijuana’. It is well known that marijuana — more commonly known as the devil’s lettuce — is a gateway drug to to terrible decisions and need to be revived from narcan injections. Then the word ‘cat’ makes you think of the most sinful animal of all. It is hotly debated that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was actually just a cat’s tail in disguise.
Now beyond the name, Doja Cat has truly cast a great spell with this video. To date, it boasts 15 million views on YouTube and is currently the 19th most popular song on Earth. The video starts out scary enough, with devil fire red words that say Demons growing larger on the screen. Doja cat wastes no time using her powers to crawl onto a ceiling and staring at the screen with red eyes, eventually revealing she has a supernaturally ashen skin and has refused to put on a blouse, skirt and pantsies drawers. She then sneaks into bed with some poor man’s wife, showing her horns, scary nails and scorpion tail as the beats make the body feel weird, uneasy sensations as she uses her ample thighs to straddle the mere mortal and weird lo-fi bass beats play in the background.
The next scene, Doja Cat is in a bath tub casually singing and has cut her hair like Jada Pinkett. We see the demon form is the bath water, making it clear she is possessed by a symbiote demon not much different than we see between Peter Parker Spiderman and his venom symbiote form. Weird tattoos and teammate demons appear in a dizzying display. The woman who was first caught off guard in bed tries to document all of this on camera and cast spells, but when goats appear it is clear she is in too deep and her chest feeds are visibly seen getting firm in fear beneath her pink blouse. There is everything else you’d expect: pyrotechnics summored from hell, roach bugs and objects flying in the kitches. The video ends to reveal the woman was a single mom and she flees with her family. Too bad the home wasn’t protected by a dad’s strong prayers.
Warning: The following video has a high-sin rating of Scarlet letter S for Saturated in Sinister Sinfulness. Please first pray before watching and have holy oil ready to annoint eyes and ears. It is highly recommended to schedule a visit to a local pastor or priest after viewing to cleanse any residual risk of possession by Doja Cat’s new video spell