Did Secular Singer Taylor Swift Put a Sin Hickey On the Neck of Travis Kelce?

Spread the Holy Word

Chad Daniels

As my three boys and I tuned in to watch our fallen Patriots take on the Kansas City Chiefs, my adrenaline was already pumping and stomach upset because I knew the NFL would be featuring something very sinful:  close-ups of Taylor Swift.

Two of my boys are still in high school, just a junior and freshman, so are still far too young to have received the ‘birds and bees’ talk.  But when you have Taylor Swift in the conversation, with her ruby red lips and well lustered blonde hair, the air brims with sensuality and you can just tell her sophisticated walk is that of a woman experienced!

So just imagine the trauma and stomach-ache when NFL cameras decided to zoom in on Taylor Swift and then on Travis Kelce, where a blatant evidence of bedroom sins was right on his neck.


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The disgust I felt when I realized Travis Kelce showed off a Rated R and MA hickey, aka Satan’s flesh tattoo, on Travis Kelce’s neck.  My eldest son is in college and noticed it too.  It made him so uncomfortable.

I demanded my two youngest boys leave the room.  The junior assumed it was because Belichik cannot coach himself out of bed with Tom Brady, but my youngest was just confused and started crying.  My wife is being a woman and getting naggy over the whole ordeal, as if I could have predicted the NFL and Travis Kelce were going to be giving a peep show into debaucherous lifestyles.

What’s even worse, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are NOT MARRIED, yet she is apparently suckling his neck and holding the flesh in her teeth.  Then they are showing it on a televised NFL game.  My son is going to have ll these thoughts and no telling now if he’s going to find the first Sharkeishah with gappy legs and puckering lips, bringing me home a surprise Jamal on the next holiday break!

Thanks a lot Travis Kelce, NFL and Taylor Swift.  You corrupted a night of good family fun and just for the record Patrick Mahones, watch your potty mouth!  All the cussing like an angry reggaie Kermit the Frog is not becoming of a role model!

I will be writing the NFL to issue a formal apology and also ask if the Chiefs can be made to forfeit or at least be disqualified for this blatant FCC violation that took place.  It is the least that can be done.


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