Trends: Muscular Cats are Hopping Up On Steroids And Tormenting Neighborhood Pets and Animals

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Cat attack terrified neighborhood dog 1 jpg
Dog terrified by most recent evolution of cats.

Deerborn, MI – Cats are well known for their destructive nature of Earth’s ecosystems, their insatiable appetite for destruction bringing some species to near extinction.

But a Michigan man’s harrowing tale serves as warning and confirms other accounts where once manageable housecats are growing too wild, their terrified owners throwing them out and letting the feral beasts run amok and bring peril unto the world.

While walking his property looking for his dog, John Grisholm reports he was shocked with the scene he came across in the forest.

“The thing was jacked and was wearing human clothing. I knew I was about to give my life to save my dog from that hellbeasts firm grasp, so I took a picture and texted my wife good-bye just in case.”

Grisholm was fortunately able to scare the cat away. “I remembered from when I was young, if you hiss at a cat like you would a vampire in a duel, it makes them think twice that they may be fighting a fellow Satanic vassal.”

After a few bluffs the cat run off and wildlife experts confirm the DNA embedded in the dog’s neck belonged to an Abyssinian breed of cat, matching a new trend of these cats getting out of hand.

Researchers with the Christian Defense League of Texas confirm this story and others match a new trend where rich cat-owners – who tend to be liberal and atheist – are creating ‘designer cats’. With usage of bioengineering, designer steroid drugs and genetic manipulation, there are a ‘new breed of pet-owners who are intentionally manufacturing an evolved form of housecat and it is jeopardizing the whole of humanity’.


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1 month ago

Don’t like cats much?

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