NOW that the Eurosexual tinsel has settled after this year’s Eurovision song contest, it’s time to reflect on what we actually saw. And what we saw wasn’t pretty! It’s no secret that Eurovision is the most effete and decadent song competition held anywhere in the world. This is no surprise [...]

America’s most arrogant couple have run into trouble recently. After the Tribal rapper named Kanye West impregnated the Arabian Princess known as Kim Kardashian, the world has waited for the proverbial “poop” to hit the fan, and it finally did. On May 15th, Kim Kardashian finally followed through with her [...]

IT MIGHT be the funniest and most charming thing to come out of Russia since that compilation of wacky dashboard-cam videos, but this innocent-looking cat might send impressionable Christian minds wandering down some dusky paths. In this viral video, a young blonde Russian cat can clearly be seen licking at [...]

Recently, in Tampa, FL, a restaurant has come under fire for serving Lion meat in its tacos. Lions are quickly becoming an “endangered” species, so animal rights hippies have gotten their panties in a bunch over this new menu item. Since I am Christwire’s authority on other countries and cultures, [...]

IT’S no secret that Ronnie Radke, the atrociously tattooed emosexual singer of horrible pretend-metal band Fallen on Reverse, is a dubious character with a record of violence. Some days it seems that if he’s not being sentenced to prison on murder-related charges, he’s attacking his fans with microphone stands or [...]

Mr. Lick ‘ems SALINA, KANSAS – It has been a long, tough road for Mr. Lick ‘ems, but he is finally on the road to recovery and on the mend.  Several weeks ago, Mr. Lick ‘ems was let outside to relieve himself in the comfort of his backyard.  His owners, [...]

Charles Ramsey broke down door to rescue Amanda Berry. Neighborhood resident Charles Ramsey rescued Amanda Berry, who was reported missing ten years ago.  Today media headlines are abuzz with the story and a very interesting hero. It all started with a sack of McDonalds.  Charles Ramsey was at his home, [...]

Miley tops Maxim in a brilliant show of racy photoshoots, marketing and nice photoshopped images to her Instagram.  If I had not Googled this image and verified it with my colleagues from several other sources, there is no way I could have believed this was Miley Cyrus. Graciebow’s creeper moment [...]

A pit bulls saves a woman from a burning home and is now being hailed as a hero. As a breed, pit bulls get a tough treatment in the court of public opinion. Stories about the breed’s aggressive nature are abundant, so it is good to see a story detailing [...]

In the past few weeks, multiple deaths of “musicians” from the 80s have been reported. While there are many rumors surrounding these deaths (spider bites, liver failure, drugs use, auto-erotic asphyxiation, etc…), the facts are quite apparent: God is smiting these heathens for promoting Satan and Atheism, drugs using, sex [...]

Lincoln Park, Alabama – Antoine Dodson chose to uncome out of the closet today.  In a shocking statement on his Facebook page, Dodson reveals that he is cured of gay and he wants to find a wife. Yes Antoine Dodson, who achieved internet fame via a news blooper that went [...]

The next dangerous evolution of marijuana is upon us.   Kush doctors, also referred to as ‘ents’ (ear, nose and throat), have confirmed their latest experiments to grow marijuana in the human lungs as a success. By scraping the trichome fungus of marijuana into aluminum wrapped pouches of Capri Sun, Ents [...]

God distributes the weather patterns so as to make a rainbow color appear on meteorologists reports on the 4:00 pm news.  God was giving a warning that the following day, he would strike down everyone’s plans for a nice, warm Spring. Only one day ago, the weather in Kansas looked [...]

First it was Britney Spears who frolicked about Los Angeles busy as ever, with her best Lex Luthor haircut. Then Emma Watson cut her hair short and decided to shine off her beaver cleaver, confusing all ages of men in the process. Now we see the onus of racy responsibility [...]

HIV To Be Cured Within Months As seen with former NBA superstar Magic Johnson, HIV can be controlled with strong cocktails of expensive pharmaceuticals. But even if Magic Johnston stopped his medicinal regimen, the reservoir of virii in his blood stream would explode and exponentially increase in viral load, eventually [...]