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    Nintendo Reveals Pokémon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire After Pagan Ceremony Summoning of The Games

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    Dear Comrades, It has taken along time for this to happen, but just like the devil waits in the shadows, The Pokemon company has waited up until now to spring on this “new” pair of games called Pokémon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire upon our children. We have had enough of the Dark messages in the last pokemon games, such as prostitution and soliciting outside of shady shacks in the bayou. But, the truly frightening fact is how the games […]

    Cops Strap Black Woman To Chair, Cut Off Her Hair

    by Tiernan Kincaid - View all comments

    Detroit, Michigan (TopNews) – Obama’s police state is showing its flagrant disregard for freedom yet again.  A woman in Michigan, identified as Charda Gregory, only 22-years-of-age, was accused of trashing a hotel room.  Instead of being cited, booked and having her day in court, the young American woman was allegedly pepper sprayed in mail, slammed into a wall and strapped down to a chair. Apparently thinking that this is ‘proper punishment’ for the young African-American woman, Michigan police then started […]

    Official Christian Response to the Duck Dynasty Phil Robertson Debacle

    by Jack Gould - View all comments

    Bold. Sassy. Flocking. Cute. Feathery and loud. These are all words that describe ducks, and when you think of a group of gay people having a good time, gaggling and sashaying about with plumed feather hats and molehair suits, wildly eating healthy grain products as they excitedly plan a vacation to South Florida for the winter,  you may find these words describe gay people too. Phil Robertson, the patriarch of duck hunting, knows a thing or two about ducks.  And […]

    national sex standards cover

    Common Core: National Sexuality Education Standards K-12 is Pornography

    by Rev. Billy Ray - View all comments

    By Rev. Billy Ray Sunday <chrisTwire> As a 34 year-old parent of two I consider myself an open-minded and fair conservative. Having younger children in the public school system in Washington State where Common Core (CC) has been adopted seemed like a good idea at first but after digging deeper into CC curriculum I have changed my mind. The goal of CC is to create universal educational standards which historically have been left up to local school boards and educators. […]

    Russian President Vladimir Putin Beats Living Crap Out of Great White Shark, Dares Barack Obama to ‘Bring it On’

    by Adam Nelson - View all comments

    Moscow, Russia (ChristWire) – The Kremlin released a photograph of Vladimir Putin today, moments after he dove into an ocean and “beat the ever loving sh#$ out of a great white shark”, according to bystander Sergei Glasnost.    Insiders say that Putin was steaming upset that Obama did not have the spine to bomb Syria and go to war with Russia. “The man is giant American pussy,” Russian media quotes Vladimir Putin saying of Barack Obama.  “He is weak and […]

    What If Nicholas Cage Did Wrecking Ball?

    by Abe - View all comments

    The most disturbing thing about Miley Cyrus’ new Wrecking Ball video occurs when you realize that with her haircut, Miley Cyrus resembles Justin Bieber from a distance. And then you realize, Justin Bieber could probably pass for a semi-attractive woman you would flesh-shank in a moment of lust. Now with that disturbing image in your head, enjoy Nicholas Cage in Wrecking Ball:

    Former Nigerian Scam Artist Prince Hakeem Amkala Now A Scientist, Only Needs Your Account Number to Cure Gay Marriage

    by Abe - View all comments

    Former Nigerian scam artist Prince Hakeem has taken on a new profession and is offering to cure ‘gay marriage’ if enough people give him their bank account numbers so he may transfer $1,000 to your account to do the final experiments in America where he can get his patent. I09 broke news of the miraculous scientific development. His mathematics of gay marriage is particularly illuminating. In an interview with This Day Live he says: In mathematics which is another core area of science, I used what […]

    Naval Gunyard Shooting Proves Need For Video Game Registry, Not Gun Registry

    by Cadence Appleton - View all comments

    Washington, DC (ChristWire) – As America mourns the loss of life following the naval gunyard shooting in Washington, it is time to take action on violent video games. Aaron Alexis, the accused gunman in the naval mass shooting, was allegedly addicted to violent video games. It seems that every time there is a terrible shooting in America, violent video games are to blame. With graphic imagery that confuses the mind with realistic 3D graphics and commanding hours of detailed attention, […]

    What Celebrities Actually Look Like Without Photoshop

    by Abe - View all comments

    A talented photoshop artist named Danny Evans gives us a look at what some famous celebrities would look like if they weren’t rich and famous, with billions to spend on photoshop and videoshop. It especially looks like Kanye and Kim are enjoying the fried chicken specials at Church’s.

    Google Knows Every WiFi Password on Earth

    by Thad Connely - View all comments

    ComputerWorld is reporting that search giant Google.com has the ability to scout and record every password on Earth.  The article reveals that since Android 2.2, every smartphone and tablet makes a backup recording of data -including WiFi passwords – that could be recorded by Google. While the search giant is not suspected of attaining such information, concerns from web and privacy activists stem from recent government sanctions upon social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Yahoo! and Google.  The internet giants […]

    Creepy Clown Spooking Residents of Northampton

    by Dan Nordgren - View all comments

    A creepy clown is spooking residents of Northampton, UK.  Locals report that the clown is standing behind fence posts and at street corners, even peering from behind trees and staring at folks with nothing but a creepy smile and bizarre hand gestures. “He kept rubbing his shanks and smiling at me, slowly wobbling his head to and from like a drunken teletubby,” local Evoria Vanderrose laments.  “My daughter cried and we hurried away on foot, and he just kept on […]

    Man Without Arms Praises God

    by Matthias Bornheim - View all comments

    It is easy to be strong of faith when everything is going your way. When your body is healthy, your finances are strong and your day-to-day plans go unperturbed, you find yourself in a state of happiness as should be. But when you face challenges in life, when you must stand strong to overcome something or accept that there are some things in life you do not like but cannot change, what do you do? Do you stand defeated. To […]

    Grand Theft Auto 5, Teaching Children To Be Gang Members Since The 1990s

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    Dearest Comrades, I come to you in all seriousness with the very real threat of one of the most violent and realistic gang-training simulation of all time; Grand Theft Auto 5. All me to give you some insight of how dangerous this game is to not only your young children but to your teens and ‘mature’ teens. The games have always had Gang related themes throughout the series and franchise. This time the game theme is training your kids and […]

    Female NFL Fans Furious Over New League’s Anti-Purse Laws

    by Abe - View all comments

    More Obama-era tyranny has ravaged another American past-time: NFL football. Female fans who want to go watch a game this year are in for a big shock: body scanners and purse bans. The Obama Administration has coerced the NFL to ‘tighten up’ security measures against potential terrorists who would use the venue of an NFL game to make a demonstration and bring tragedy to one of America’s favorite games. Due to this, the NFL was forced to not only make […]

    Female Russian Athletes Kiss to Defy Soviet Vladimir Putin’s Anti-Gay Olympic Laws

    by Abe - View all comments

    Two firm, fit athletes from Russia kiss to defy Vladimir Putin’s new anti-American gay laws. Moscow, Russia – For years I have warned the world that “Russia” is just a sham and that the true Soviet Union, bereft of equality for all, still lies beneath.  After the last American decade, where our great country has brought freedom to Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt and other lesser countries, the world has balked at us and put us under the microscope. Instead of recognizing […]